Dear Reck Niebuhr,

Thank you for your response and for your marvelous text on the work at Scattergood. Yes, of course we are kindred spirits. The story of your work in education is an inspiration to me, and a reminder...  It may be that my itch to improve American educational policy may be most effectively scratched right here at Westtown, where every day we try to model approaches to education that are holistic, relational, open to new ideas and possibilities, and nurturant of the best potentials that lie within each learner.  At least that's what we try to do. Most of the time.

 

For many years, as people compliment me as a parent for the personalities and character of my  children (they are two kids like most others, but they have better manners than most and they like talking to adults), I have always said, "Well, it's the work of the Monthly Meeting."  Very seriously, I believe that for a young person, the experience of adults of all ages paying attention--not because they are paid to do so nor because they are family relations--means a great deal. It's transformational!  When you are 10 years old, it underscores and reflects back to you a sense of your essential value to have adults call out your name during the social hour after meeting,  Even to sit in silence with these adults, to be part of their reflective search--if only for 15 minutes at the beginning or end of the hour of worship--is stunningly important in a young person's participation in the serious part of life... the part where we ask of ourselves the most staggering questions we know how to ask.

 

So it strikes me as a great tragedy that many Quaker families, mired in permissiveness, can't seem to rouse their children on First-day mornings and get them to meeting. In our family, it has never been a struggle, because before the age of 17, it was never within the realm of imagination that Kate or Drew would not attend meeting on First day, even just once. Before the kids were 12, there was never a thought that they could go down to the basement where the TV is and turn it on... just for entertainment. Family culture is so important. Church congregations are so important.

 

You point out that only 19% of student time is at school.  Now ask a parent, "How much of your creativity, concern, and energy do you put into your job?"   Or, to put it another way, "What percentage of your creativity, concern, and energy do you put into your family life, your home, your church?"  I see lots of parents whose job is taking all their life force. The kids are left to fend for themselves.

 

One of the great errors made by us liberals is that we liberated ourselves from the restrictions of social structure, community structure, and family structure. We were encouraged to focus a lot of energy on the self. It was a commercial project, the construction of the consumer. We abandoned responsibility, unless it felt good. Now we are frantically trying to press the toothpaste back into the tube. It's a reverse entropy process... hard work, frustrating work.

 

You are about that work, Reck.  You and the folks at Scattergood. Strength to thy arm.

Yours in peace,

Tom Farquhar